Metta
This month, I wanted to share a way of meditating that has a profound impact on my life, well-being, and health. Engaging in Metta as a meditation practice helps me soften my grief, my sadness, my guilt, and my distress, or helps me transform hurtful anger into loving, righteous advocacy. And, as someone who experiences climate anxiety / eco grief / eco distress, Metta that emphasizes the more-than-human world is a practice that helps push me toward acceptance, resolution, and action.
Metta is a word in the Pali language and is roughly translated to mean “boundless friendliness or goodwill.” Metta is an awareness or meditation practice where “one recites specific words and phrases evoking a ‘boundless, warm hearted feeling.’” - Metta Institute.
Many folks use phrases like, “May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease” in their Metta meditations. Throughout years of practicing Metta at Kripalu or in yoga classes or with mindful friends, I’ve come to find words that ring true to me.
I use the verbs “know” and “be,” as I believe that both “knowing” something and also “being” something are important. I’m talking about that good ol’ mind-body connection.
As I often discuss in therapy, I don’t use the word “happy” often, as that feeling is fleeting and unsustainable (and there is some beauty and ‘specialness’ in that). I’m not working towards daily “happiness.” I am working towards “contentment,” which feels more authentic to the reality of life. Being content means that I am bolstered and afloat most of the time, no matter the size of the waves. “Content” is representative of the mixing and blending of pain and joy and the full emotional palette of life.
Below, I’ve shared what phrases I mentally repeat during my Metta meditation:
May I know safety / May I be safe
May I know contentment / May I be content
May I know freedom / May I be free
May I know easeful peace / May I be at peace, at ease
—————
May you know safety / May you be safe
May you know contentment / May you be content
May you know freedom / May you be free
May you know easeful peace / May you be at peace, at ease
Starting with myself in mind, I repeat the first part of the meditation three times or so, imagining how safety and content and freedom and peace feel in my body. Or how I would know I was safe and content and free and at peace. Most Metta meditations start with the self, as we cannot love others without loving ourselves first. As RuPaul so wisely offers, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else?”
From there, I extend this meditation to a loved one, repeating the second part (“you”) three times and imagining them being safe, content, free, and at peace.
Moving on, I imagine a veil of warm love enfolding a “stranger.” This may be someone I’ve run into in the past week or even a collective body of folks (ex- Congress or people in Kyiv).
From there, I move to a “person-in-conflict.” Many people find this part of the meditation challenging- how are we expected to extend loving kindness to someone we are in conflict with? Someone who makes our blood boil? If I’m having difficulty with this part, I often imagine the person as a baby, knowing that that hurtful grownups were once children and were often children who experienced trauma or hurt from others. This portrayal helps to soften my heart. I also believe that if hurtful people truly knew and embodied love and peace and kindness, the pain they inflict on others couldn’t tolerate that righteous light.
Finally, I move my thoughts of loving kindness to all beings. I imagine the warm veil of love and kindness slowing growing larger, enfolding my home, my human neighbors, my animal neighbors, my plant and tree neighbors, into my village, across the finger lakes, over New York, over the northeast, over North America, over the oceans, until my love and kindness envelope the entire world.
If you want to try a Metta meditation, you can start with some of these resources:
Sharon Salzberg in Tricycle
Guided ‘Embodied Metta’ with Tara Brach (youtube video)
Wishing you all safety, contentment, freedom, ease, and peace.
Take care, stay wild, stay connected,
Snowy